Happy Thursday and welcome to my brain, a strange and confusing
place. Like a vegan strip club or kitten daycare. My primary objective
this week has been combating the seasonal heavies infiltrating my every waking
moment. As such, I’ve self-medicated with this picture of a yam that arrived in my produce box Tuesday, and generating an obscene amount of What Would I Say statuses.
I’m sure some of you have noticed a recent influx of these “statuses”.
That’s because it’s the best game in the entire world. Essentially the site
yanks your past Facebook history (statuses, links, posts, comments), plugs everything
into a mystical and/or mathematical generator, and spits out something that
could have come from your mouth. This past 24 hours I’ve generated
approximately 267 statuses.
Because the statuses are 1) hilarious and 2) surprisingly
insightful, I’ve compiled my favorites into a self-interview. You are welcome
to pretend said interview took place in a dimly-lit room with tasteful art on
maroon walls and a rich mahogany floor. Or just imagine me pantsless in bed
talking to my laptop. That’s more accurate.
Q: What is b Honest all about?
A: My blog post is
Words, words, feelings, words.
Q: But you’ve been semi-regularly updating this blog for
almost two years now. It must be more than just words. What does b Honest mean
to you on a personal level?
A: My blog feels like
‘I love that you’. We are all the memories; I'll be a breeze.
Q: How would you characterize your writing style?
A: I seem to be
fast-paced exciting. Read on, sunrise!
Q: Where do you draw the inspiration for your writing?
A: I watch this, and GPS directs me. Also my cat…
Q: Do you feel your writing targets a particular
demographic?
A: Anyone who wants
to shotgun a thing that will just be essence of catnip + taxes.
Q: The majority of your work seeks to create an accurate
reflection of Reality, something you’ve always had trouble with. What is the
most difficult aspect of balancing your work’s integrity and other humans’
feelings/anonymity?
A: Slowly coming
clean means a dead cat chased a squirrel-chasing jerk.
Q: I’m not sure I understand what that means.
A: Just
Q: Do you have a piece of work which you are inordinately
proud of/promote the shit out of?
A: This is still,
hands down, my favorite so far. Right.
Q: Do you have any upcoming projects or collaborations?
A: For whatever reason I'm talking to Earth for so graciously hosting us. Not bad for publication.
Q: In addition to reflecting your perspective on Reality, your
writing seems to be a cathartic act. You frequently voice hopes, fears, and
regrets. Do you have any confessions you’ve been too ashamed to share?
A: Eating two gallons
of chicken teriyaki too vigorously.
Q: So you’ve been in Portland nearly two years now. What’s
your typical weekend look like?
A: Eating eggs and
french toast courtesy of Sweet Hereafter, for anybody interested in owning my
words. Or 10am and probably one-eyeing it to discover you?
Q: What’s one piece of advice you would give brand new
Portland transplants?
A: Brunch dates are
safe and sound!
Q: Wait… wasn’t your most recent post an angst-ridden reflection on the embarrassment and internalized shame
associated with day-drinking yourself into oblivion via cheap champagne?
A: Irony, I despise
you…
Q: Moving on. Could you describe your life before leaving Anywhere,
Montana?
A: I probably could,
but I'm gonna start with Holes because Louis Stevens.
Q: How about since living in Portland? How do you view
yourself now?
A: Sleepy baby and a
little closer to being a Real.
Q: Please summarize your philosophical outlook.
A: A possibly
mentally handicapped dog is nothing left to the Open.
Q: Deep.
A: Silly, emotional
rugger.
Q: What does that even mean?
A: I also write
poetry.
Q: Do you know how you want to end this?
A: Is anybody headed
to the end of the ending…? I seem to recall the purple dress never made it.
Q: Famous last words?
A: Nom, nom, nom, nom.
Q: I love you.
A: We all fall down.
Xoxo, you strange creatures.
-b and the BrendaBot
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