A Brief & Incomplete List: #2

47 days of e-mail correspondence:

1) If we moved South, couldn't we just do away with clothes entirely? Why even maintain the illusion of clothes? I wear the exact same thing for 40 hours a week, and it makes me feel like a droid. Or a cartoon. Some sort of caricature of a real human. You should see how long it takes for anybody to say something. Like, how much freedom will social constraints allow you re: wardrobe?

2) This morning I got to play with seven labradoodle puppies! They smelled so bad, and pooped everywhere, but they're so cute! I wish I could keep one in a puppy bjorn all day long, and squeeze it when I needed to. Like a stress ball of adorable.

This is not that monster.

3) I feel like mental flow and theories of time should go hand-in-hand. If I added a chapter to Einstein's Dreams it would talk about the quality of time when you are enjoying your life versus when you aren't. People would do everything they could to avoid being bored because you could get caught in an unhappy task forever. But happy, actively engaged people would die sooner because time would be accelerated. Would you rather die faster happy, or live longer in an unhappiness? You could live forever if you were miserable enough.

4) I was so grumpy, and trying so hard not to be grumpy… So I drew her a monster and said "This is how it makes me feel when you don't honor our plans or respect my time. Now we're done with this conversation"… I personally think it was a pretty cute monster. If you ever piss me off you can have one of your very own!

[Note: this is a surprisingly effective coping mechanism! Highly recommended. Caricatures of your rage can be adorable.]

5) Here's a funny thing: I downloaded the OK Cupid app for my phone, and didn't realize that when you are flipping through profiles if you flick to the left you "Pass" on them and if you flip to the right you "Like" them (and they get a notification). I maybe unintentionally Liked every other person, because I was flicking left/right/left/right without processing.

Neither is this one.

6) Yesterday I watched 10 episodes of Walking Dead in my bed, and one episode of Girls at Ashleigh's house. Getting rid of Netflix doesn't seem to have solved my productivity problems.

7) Sorry, my brain is molasses. I feel like I'm having a fever dream writing this and listening to the Sucker Punch soundtrack. This is what five days of heavy drinking looks like. I know you feel like shit, kid. But get it together! You'll be ok. I promise.

8) I'm trying to be a person that speaks French, and does Zumba, and eats vegan food but I think in my soul I still drink red wine and cry on the drive to work.

[Note: the red wine and driving are not happening at the same time, so don't worry mom!]

9) To: you. From: The Universe. Because I love you.

10) Yessssss. That is all.

Xoxo

     -b

This is THAT monster