A-Camp Day 1: O! Valencia

You guys, this morning I was going to bike to work. Even though it’s dark when I leave the house, and I haven’t biked since June and the directions I googled had approximately four million different turns onto and off of streets I’ve never heard of. I was going to do it, dammit! I suited up, trotted down to the basement and realized my tires were flat. My last air station experience was a debacle unfit for 7am, so I drove. Now I’m sitting in a Starbucks, looking homeless because I’m still wearing all of the layers I planned to bike in. “Transient chic” is actually a look I do pretty well, so don’t even trip.

Wednesday, September 12: Day 1! (Con’t indefinitely…)

After winding, hairpin turns and a few close brushes with a cliff we arrived at Alpine Meadows. The bus driver watched as we gathered our sensible flannels and vegan snacks, helped me climb into the bus’s belly to retrieve our bags and sent us on our way with a smile. Gabby and Carmen led the way to the rickety sound of rolling suitcases and lesbians giggling amongst themselves.

We trundled our way to Wolf Lodge for registration and to claim our gift bags.

I couldn’t have prepared myself to immediately encounter Riese and Laneia. One minute we were being funneled into alphabetical lines, the next Laneia was introducing herself. Also she remembered me from the introductory e-mails. Ok, that’s kind of a stretch. Mostly she remembered I was assigned to her fiancé Megan’s cabin (Valencia!) and that my cat has an unusual/awesome name. Then I was being handed a binder and canvas tote full of goodies, and sent on my way!

Lucy exited the swirling registration whirlpool about the same time I did. Brief eye contact, one deep breath and then Megan was scooping up our bags and walking us to our cabin. Things we learned between Wolf Lodge and our cabin:

1. There had been extreme flash floods over the past few days, so the trails were all wonky and most of the cabins had flooded. Don’t worry, we were in maybe the only dry one. I don’t know. I only went into one other cabin and it was swampy.

2. Our cabin was the very farthest one away from everything. In hindsight, I think this was tactically planned because our cabin of sleepy introverts tended to be in bed by 11pm every night

3. There had already been at least one bear sighting. Also Megan showed us the dents and scratches in our cabin door, which totes could have been bear damage. Also also, one presumably straight male camp manager plus lesbians making “bear” jokes equals priceless. If you encounter a wild bear, don’t make eye contact or try to engage it!

Does anybody know when the zine workshop starts?

We picked our bunks, deposited our bags, and walked back to Wolf Lodge with Megan to store our food and one bottle of Pellegrino that would never be seen again. Our goodie bags and binders told us our Rainbow Gang affiliation (yellow), when dinner started that night (5ish) and what activities were planned for that afternoon (not many…).

Being an Adult in a summer camp setting is a strange thing. There’s this weird compulsion to revert to a 7-year old mentality. For example, wanting to ask permission to do things, feeling like you could get in trouble for being in certain areas, etc. But also you remember that you’re a grown ass woman with agency and you should probably be able to fill unstructured time without anyone else’s permission. Lu and I wandered listlessly around the campground, played on the monkey bars (near the other kids, without actually engaging with them), and had an intense tetherball showdown. When my arms and also my pride were too bruised for any more tetherball, we drifted back to Wolf Lodge to eat cookies and drink coffee.

From this point forward, cookies and coffee would be my go-to when I wasn’t sure where else to be. I’ma guess I consumed at least 45 cookies during A-Camp. I’d rather not even guess about how much coffee I drank.

Valencia bunkmates had been arriving slowly over the course of the afternoon, which mostly meant a lot of avoided eye contact while we tried to feel each other out. Matching faces with the names and life details we’d exchanged via e-mail was a difficult game. Luckily, the powers that be had anticipated our social awkwardness, and facilitated a first-night cabin bonding circle. I only have a vague idea of what happened in other cabins (I’m pretty sure they involved a lot of whiskey), but our cabin had a sit-down and a sensible chat.

You guys, I adore my cabin mates. They are the loveliest little group of introverts I’ve ever known. Unfortunately, being gentle, kind and thoughtful put us at a serious disadvantage in the Rainbow wars. For the duration of the week, Team Yellow would be synonymous with Team Polite. Following all the meeting and greeting we had our icebreaker round of the Rainbow Wars where our non-aggression landed us dead last. But! We played tug-o-war, played with a giant parachute and created an impromptu skit about the meaning of “Autostraddle”.

After the activities, we made our way down to the First Night campfire, where the staff was officially introduced and we got to see all of their beautiful faces. Then Julie Goldman inducted us into the Gay Baby Army and we were all singing and laughing and waving our little Gay Baby hands in the air and everything was just perfect.

After the campfire I hear there was an after party that involved whiskey in paper cups and lots of rave dancing/lesbian kissing. Unfortunately (or fortunately, since this seems to be when most of camp contracted what would affectionately come to be known as the Battlestar Plague), after the campfire I was fucking exhausted. All of the heavies from the past 24 hours imploded, creating this gaping cosmic black hole somewhere in the middle of my chest. I went back to the cabin, along with most of my sleepy kitten bunk mates. After brushing my teeth and donning nearly every article of clothing I’d packed, I curled up in a little ball in my bunk and cried.

I tried to be quiet, but I’m pretty sure it deteriorated into that weird sigh/hiccup thing that happens when toddlers cry themselves to sleep. Lucy was in the bunk above me, because she didn’t want anybody to assume we were together. By “anybody” I think she meant mostly me. Having her close but so far away and feeling so small and empty and far from home… You guys. I won’t lie, that first night fucking sucked. Also, our cabins were heated. Wearing all my clothes, I was a sweaty mess by morning.

All my love, you weirdos.

-b