Lessons from my first week bike commuting:

1. Always trust your GPS…

Google spent a lot of money and littered our solar system with a lot of space junk to map the entire planet. When they say “take a slight right onto Garden Springs” they don’t mean “take a hard right onto Huber because all roads on the right side of the road will take you to the same place”. No. That’s a false assumption and you will end up cruising 7 miles downhill, only to walk your bike 3 miles up US-43. The fastest way to double your 9 mile commute? Huber Street.

2. …except when it’s untrustworthy

Your GPS is a computer. Google won’t understand why that 80 degree incline just isn’t an option. The space junk just knows that’s the most direct way to get from A to B. That tiny staircase in the side of the mountain? Totally a viable option. 2.5 uphill miles? Easy as pie when you are a machine. I am not a machine. Nothing is easy. 

3. Rain gear. 

Sometimes you bike to work two days in a row and get a little cocky. Through whatever dumb luck the sun has been shining every time you're outside. When A offers you a rain jacket (on three separate occasions) you borrow it to humor her. 

When the sky splits open three miles into your 9 mile commute, you will need to thank her for saving your life. I literally spent 20 minutes wringing water out of my cargo pockets. Unfortunately I donned the rain jacket during the storm, because pride. Waterproof gear is less effective when the water is on the inside of your clothes. But I survived, I’ma say mostly because of that jacket. 

4. Mountain bikes were made for mountains.

Real talk: I love my bike. I love the rusted handlebars, oversized tires, and the fact that one of my gears isn’t really a gear. When I “shift” into it nothing happens, except I feel better because theoretically I’ve shifted into an easier gear. Biking is a mental game. I once saw a homeless man in downtown Missoula riding the same make and model, in the same color. Only his seat wasn’t torn in half like mine was for two years.

I love my bike. But I’ve come to the conclusion that mountain bikes are not intended for long city commutes. First of all, it weighs approximately one million pounds. When I hit a hill I can feel gravity tugging on every inch of that alloy frame. Second of all... ok I guess there is no second of all.

5. Safety first!

I am a proud person. This is not a virtue. I also tend to get hung up on really stupid things. For example, my resistance to rain gear noted above. This resistance extends to basic safety gear (AKA helmets, lights, reflectors). You guys, I don’t even know. There’s nothing cool about being very cold and soggy, or smeared on the side of a windy road, or invisible in the dark like a bike ninja. Ok, maybe that last one would be kind of cool but also it leads to permanent brain damage and/or roadside fatalities. Ain’t nobody got time to be dead.

6. Backpacks become exponentially heavier the longer they are on your back. 

Especially when they are filled with tiny melons. 

7. Squirrels. 'Nough said. 

All my love, weirdos. 

-b